Archive for 2011
What you have to say about this?
Commander of Bucaramanga Metropolitan Police, General Jose Angel Mendoza, said of the animal accomplice: “This is a new case of criminal ingenuity. They were trying to smuggle drugs into Bucaramanga prison by using messenger pigeons. We found the bird about a block away from the prison trying to fly over with a package, but due to the excess weight it was impossible for the bird to accomplish the objective and it ended up being caught by the police.”
Local authorities also state that this isn’t the first time that pigeons have been used to smuggle items into the prison, in the past they have flown in mobile phone sim cards.
Well.. What you guys think?
Is this the real side of Justin Bieber that many of you guys would get crazy for(lol)..
Or just a bad photoshop???
3 people were on a plane. One said to the pilot, "I have a glass bottle. What do I do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it out the window. The second one asked the same question and the pilot also told him to throw it out the window. The third one asked the pilot, "I have a bomb. What do I do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it out the window. When they landed they met a man crying. When asked why he was crying, he replied, "Because I got hit in the head with a glass bottle. They met a woman who was crying for the same reason. Then the met a man laughing. They asked him why he was laughing and he replied, "Because I walked by a building and farted. Then the building blew up.
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...
Demon: Why so glum chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks.
Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it! Love the smoking.
Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling.
Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.
Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!
Demon: You gay?
Guy: Uh no.
Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.
This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death. However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself, and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no problems." Then he proceeded to jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! -- made a mess hitting all over the ground. Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a real ------- when you're drunk!"
The Americans and Russians, at the height of the arms race, realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ------- in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were three inches thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.
The Russians came up to the Americans, shaking their heads in disbelief. `We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ------- in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing," an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
Rishabh Ghimire has a parasitic twin attached to his chest. It’s sapping his strength and must be removed before it costs him his life.
This extraordinary film tracks his family’s journey from their mountain home in Nepal to a leading hospital the heart of LA, where Rishabh receives the operation his parents hope will save his life.
6 years ago Macey and Mackenzie hit the headlines – only the second ever known case of conjoined twins born with a triplet sister.
Today Macey, Mackenzie and Madeline Garrison are beautiful girls, but how are they managing life after separation, and what medical challenges lie ahead?
Rishabh was born in January 2009 with a parasitic twin attached to his abdomen.
A rare phenomenon in any part of the world. In his native Nepal the birth was so remarkable that Rishabh was celebrated in the local community as an 8-limbed God.
The boy’s family, however, worried about their son’s health and were delighted when Dr James Stein, of the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles, came to examine him in a hospital in Kathmandu.
Dr Stein's examinations of Rishabh revealed both good news and bad news.
Dr Stein found that the smaller, less formed, twin had two arms, two legs and a torso, but could confirm that the parastic twin lacked a brain and internal organs.
A simple stethoscope check however revealed that Rishabh was already suffering from an irregular heartbeat from the strain of having to support his twin.
Separations are not usually performed before babies are six months old, as they are too weak to withstand such a complex major operation.
So great were Dr Stein's concerns over the psychological implications of being joined to another body, that he believed the separation operation should take place before Rishabh is able to remember his twin, so ideally before he reaches 12 months. Time is ticking.
Rishabh's mother tells Dr Stein how she's noticed that small wounds aern't healing and also of her son's growing reluctanct to eat.
These are worrying signs for Dr Stein who knows that failing to thrive is a sign there may be problems with Rishabh’s heart.
In this remarkable new special programme, the time for separation has come – taking place in Los Angeles,under the watchful eye of expert paediatric surgeon Dr Stein.
Will Rishabh's parents be able to take home the new healthy, happy, singleton baby boy that they long for?
Also featured in this episode is another remarkable case of Dr James Stein’s never before told: conjoined twins – 7 year old twin American girls, who – incredibly - have a twin sister. There is only one other known case in the world of conjoined twins with a fraternal triplet.
The triplet’s family faced an agonising decision several years ago of whether to separate their conjoined twins. Now, six years on they are back to visit their surgeon Dr Stein for him to hear how they are progressing.
